Ever feel like you should be learning faster? Progressing towards goals faster? Flat out being doing better in just about everything?
I often get that feeling – the feeling that there’s something more I could be doing.
Then I turn my thoughts back to the idea of Mastery.
What do we mean by mastery? It’s a pretty core concept – so core it’s in the title of our company’s name.
We chose the “Date,” part because we’re advocates of dating. It’s goes deeper than that, but that’s a story for another post.
The “Masters” part is possible even more complex and layered.
When we say Masters, we’re not talking about in the He-Man Master of The Universe / win-at-everything-forever sense of the word.
When we’re talking about Mastery, we’re talking about it in the ancient Oriental wisdom sense of the word – someone following a never ending path of growth. In Japanese, sometimes this is called “michi” (道), which literally means road or path, and figuratively refers to one’s path in life.
Similarly in Chinese, is kung-fu (功夫). Long before kung-fu meant “Hi-ya! Karate chop to the throat!” it originally meant skill gained through hard work. Sweat, tears and blood poured into an endeavor over months, years, decades, a lifetime – that’s what one’s kung-fu is.
This is what we’re talking about when we say Mastery – the process over the result, the
The Japanese having a saying “Continuation is power” (継続は力なり). Somewhat akin to “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again,” this saying is all about how when one simply stays on the path of mastery in a given endeavor, one becomes powerful over the course of weeks, months and years.
On the flip side, they also have a saying “Shaved head for three days” (三日坊主). It’s kind of like this:
Dude: Hey guys, I’m donning my monk robes! I’m I’m giving up my worldly possessions! I’m moving to the convent! And to prove to everyone I’m serious, I’m shaving my head like a REAL monk!
(Three days later) Dude: I’m going home! This is way too hard for me! Time to grow my hair out again!
Plenty of application to dating – don’t settle for anything less than the very best woman for you, and continue down the path striving to reach her.
Wild speculation with a healthy dash of projection on my part, but I figure most guys give up on their dreams, their goals and their passions because they have an idea of how things SHOULD go (“I SHOULDN’T be so terrified when I go online to meet women!” / “More women SHOULD stop to talk to me!”) versus the reality of the situation.
Accepting the reality, while keeping the mastery frame of continuing down the path, allows us to simply acknowledge so-called fears and failures without so much as pause (“I am terrified of going to talk to her and I will anyways.”)
How long will it take us to find, meet, date and start enjoying our time with the woman of our dreams?
In the book “Mastery” by George Leonard, he writes,
“How long will it take me to master (insert endeavor here)?” a prospective student asks. “How long do you expect to live?” is the only respectable response.”
For most guys, our advice is NOT a quick fix solution. These are core life projects that will take weeks, months and even years. Good news is that we’ll probably meet dozens, hundreds or thousands of great women on the path to our The One.
Stick to the path – build up your kung-fu – always remind yourself of Mastery.